Confessions of a Mid-Life Orphan

I got the call that most mid-lifers dread.  "Holli, it's your brother.  Call me ASAP."  I could barely catch my breath before I rushed to call him back.

Two rings later, my brother picks up and says, "Mom's Gone." 
"O my God.  What do you mean she's gone?  I'll be out there tomorrow morning."

The week of my mother's graveside service moved at lightening speed as I scurried to make arrangements and contact  relatives and friends to tell them of the news.

Burying my mother was the worst thing I have ever had to do.  I cried every time I looked at her cherry red PT Cruiser in the driveway and felt out of sorts because I no longer had anyone older than I to depend on. I realized that I had become an orphan over night.  My mother was a stable force who offered encouragement when I was going through personal or job difficulties. She encouraged me to try to be an enlightened step parent and loaded me up with Italian food and homemade cookies that reminded me of the carefree days at home.

There would not be any more Sunday phone calls, Easter cards, or Utica-style halfmoon cookies.  The world felt like a lonely place my mother's raspy voice.  To help compensate for the loss, I grabbed my favorite recipes, hoping that I would be up to the task when the dust settled.  Unfortunately, it has been almost a year and I haven't made so much as a simple sugar cookie.

 Recommended Reading: Midlife Orphan by Jane Brooks

Unemployed but Overcommitted

I couldn't wait for our week-long trip to Fort Lauderdale to get away from the circus I call my life.  Though I have been unemployed for seven months, I have barely had time to catch my breath between job interviews, volunteer commitments, and requests from people who think I have more time to donate to their cause.

Potential employers who suspect a loss of motivation amongst the unemployed, are quick to test the waters, asking, "So what have you been doing for the last seven months?"  I write grant proposals part time and work at the Saratoga County Animal Shelter cat annex 1-2 days a week. Add an hour here and an hour there to sit on event planning committees, attend networking mixers, and go to job interviews. Our elderly neighbor, who is in the early stages of Alzheimer's, has deemed me as her first contact for miscellaneous errands and to talk about her distress over the aliens working in the basement.  My adult stepson makes several distress calls because he is unemployed and recently out of a relationship.

I wish I could say that being unemployed is less stressful than working.  But for me, unemployment has has meant a fragmented schedule with frequent interruptions and less time and energy for personal hobbies. Looking for a job in this economy is almost a full-time job riddled with energy-draining disappointments.  Working offers focus, challenge and an excuse for saying "no" to superfluous requests.