Going to Pieces - Not Falling Apart

I woke up at 3 a.m., drenched with heart palpitations and numerous questions running through my head. Should I go back to school? Should I start a business? Will anyone hire me?

Like a rat looking for cheese, I have been to several interviews for jobs that don't seem to fit.  "There has to be a better way," I thought.

To calm my mind, I pulled Mark Epstein’s Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart off of my husband’s shelf.  In reading, I realized that I could be short-circuiting a process that will lead me to what will truly make me happy.

A mind that is full cannot take in anything new," the master explained. "Like this cup, you are full of opinions and preconceptions." Wisdom and happiness are to be found only by emptying one's cup.

A full mind is a blocked mind.  I don't think that I'll magically manifest a job if I forget about it.  But I might get better results if I refrain from patching up my ego with an advanced degree or a red sports car.  I will sure as heck owe less money.

To Gray or Not to Gray

I considered giving up hair color after the holidays, but  my husband assured me that I would look much older.  "It'll age you," he said.  "You'll look like Cruella DeVille."

Ouch.

I'm tired of the monthly coloring ritual.  The dye messes up our towels, gets on my clothing and sometimes makes my hair turn a most unappetizing color.  To get away from the harsh chemicals, I tried a chamomile tea rinse that lightened my auburn hair to a flaming red. Henna is drying and coffee doesn't do much of anything.  

I admire Journalist Anne Kraemer,  who went gray at 48 and hope that I will look as good as Helen Mirren when I stop coloring. But I'm not convinced that going gray won't hurt my career.  Aftr all, you don't see Diane Sawyer, Oprah, Condoleezza or Hillary showing their true colors. 

Lets face it.  Women haven't come as far as some would like to think.  Though we've moved up the corporate ladder, become world-class athletes, and gone to the moon, we have clung to our youth like a ferocious lion guarding her cubs.  We've come a long way, but the road doesn't end here.